What's In a Name?
by Bryon Nightshade
Summary: Light-hearted one-shot. Reminder: robot masters are not human. Language is mutable. And Mega Man is... not quite what one very flustered news anchor might otherwise expect.


Nakamura "Charley", top anchor for Fuji Television, could hardly wait. It wasn't often that an anchor did interviews himself, but this was a big one. Japan- and the whole world, really- was in an uproar over the appearance of the so-called "Mega Man". It was like a superhero comic come to life. Out of nowhere, disaster struck, and out of nowhere, a saviour came to restore order. Charley'd barely been able to get a break since it all started. For this, though, he'd gladly sacrifice a little more sleep.

At first, Dr. Light had flat-out refused. No, he said- his children weren't celebrities, they didn't relish the limelight. Charley didn't have much to say about that. Either Dr. Light needed a new public relations guy, or this was a clumsy bargaining strategy. Charley didn't know how much Fuji TV had ended up paying for this opportunity. He didn't particularly care. That was for other people to worry about. His job was to make sure the station got its money's worth.

He knew the rules. No use of the imperative was the biggie- it wasn't fair to robots with the Second Law implemented. That would be the trickiest part. He knew how to wheedle information out of people, but doing that while being careful about how he spoke might be complicated.

The light came on. That was his cue. He looked up from his notes. Smoothly, now, professional and crisp. "Good evening, viewers, in Tokyo and around the world. It's been a wild day in stocks and prefectural elections are coming up in three weeks, but our first and most important story isn't an event or a number. We have a real live hero in-studio today." Motion in the corner of his eye; cue. Face camera, finish sentence by facing subject. Standard choreography. "Fuji Te-de-vee is proud to present an exclusive interview with the one, the only, Mega-" he began to turn and his breath caught in his throat. "...Man?"

"It's a pleasure to be here," the robot replied, sitting down in a chair across from Charley.

Charley froze. It would be mortifying to him, later. He never froze. It was one of his greatest features as an anchor. It was rare to catch him even off-balance, let alone motionless. It lasted long enough that the robot had time to give an extra wave to the camera.

Finally Charley seemed to regain his senses. "Sorry," he said, adjusting his papers nervously. "Sorry. It's just... Sorry. I expected you to be..."

"Taller?" A benevolent smile. "I get that a lot."

"Not taller," Charley said.

"Bigger, then? I'm not in armor, and that makes a world of difference."

"Not bigger," Charley managed. "More... er..."

"Yes?"

Charley made a circular motion with his hand. "That is... they call you Mega Man, right?"

"That's right."

"Well," said Charley, rapping his papers against the desk as if to organize them. "I guess I expected you to be more... male."

"Huh?" said Roll with a blink. "Why?"

"You're Mega Man," Charley said, as if seeking confirmation.

"Oh, I see," Roll said with an indulgent smile. "It's the word 'man', isn't it?"

"Yes," said Charley uncomfortably.

"I get it," Roll said. "It's a gender marker for humans. But for us- robot masters, I mean- it's more of an honorific. It shows that you have a job. For example, Cut Man isn't just a name. It isn't just that he can cut things. It's that he has a *job* of cutting things. He has a place and role. It means a lot to him. It would to any robot master!"

"But you have a name, too," Charley objected, trying to regain control of the interview. "Isn't your name Roll? Your real name, I mean."

"Real name?" Roll asked, confusion on her face.

"When you're not calling yourself Mega Man," Charley specified.

"That doesn't make either name more or less real," she said. "This isn't some manga. I'm both Roll and Mega Man. It's not like one is a pseudonym and the other is the real me."

"Oh," Charley managed weakly. "But... why Mega Man?"

"It is a little bit of a stretch," Roll allowed.

"I agree," Charley said.

"I mean, we're using 'mega' in a different sense than the usual," she elaborated. "When I think mega, my first instinct is measurement, you know, millions. Obviously there aren't millions of me. Instead, we used the meaning as in "big" or "powerful". The superlative meaning, you know? So my job as Mega Man is to have and use power. I suppose 'Power Man' might have worked, but it doesn't have the same ring. Mega Man has consonance going for it."

"That's not what I meant," Charley said, half-interrupting her. "That's not the part I had trouble with!"

Roll blinked.

"Wouldn't 'Mega Roll' or, or 'Mega Woman' have been better?"

"No," Roll said flatly. "Both of those sound terrible."

"But why would you call yourself Mega *Man* when you're a girl?"

"I'm not a girl," she replied.

Charley couldn't find words, so he gestured at her instead.

"Oh, this?" She looked down at her body, as if for the first time. "That's just for aesthetics. I'm not female any more than my brother is male."

"But you called him your brother," accused Charley. "Does he call you sister?"

Roll looked disappointed. "Come on, you're a human! Am I really going to have to explain to *you* the difference between gender and sex?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Charley saw a producer waving his hand horizontally across his neck. Kill that line of questioning, it meant. He didn't have to tell Charley twice. "Sooo, since we mentioned your brother... how did the two of you decide who would become Mega Man?"

"Oh, it could just as easily have been him," Roll said. "When we saw what was happening, when we saw what Dr. Wily had done... I mean, we didn't know that it was Dr. Wily at first, but all the same, we knew something strange had happened, we knew there was foul play involved. Poor Rock- he couldn't stand it. He felt like he needed to do something about it.

"I sort-of understand it. He was father's lab assistant, and this was a lab project gone horribly, horribly wrong. He didn't want anyone else to be hurt. The trouble is... he's a very kind soul, my brother. Kinder than me. He hates violence, he always has- father can't even get him to play most video games. So when he was standing there, needing to go save people, but hating what that would mean, I decided I couldn't let that happen to him. So I beat him to the punch. Before he volunteered, I volunteered for him."

"Volunteered," Charley said. "Volunteered- to become Mega Man?"

"That's right."

"You mean this wasn't planned?" Charley said. "There was no contingency plan in case something happened to the six robot masters?"

"You mean, 'Was there a contingency plan in case one of exactly two beings on the planet who could reprogram robot masters decided to do it and managed to get to all six before being detected'?"

Charley felt uncomfortable. "When you put it like that, it makes me worry..." he trailed off. He wasn't sure what, exactly, he was worried about, but he very definitely felt worried.

"Dr. Wily's dangerous," Roll said soberly. "We know that. We know that now, I should say. We probably should be worried about him." She smiled brightly. "But now that I'm Mega Man, there is a contingency plan, isn't there?"

"I suppose there is," Charley said reluctantly.

"And boy, was Rock relieved when I volunteered to go! Don't get me wrong, he was really worried too. Family is very important to us Lights, Nakamura-san. It really worked out, though. He's been father's lab assistant, and he understands being a robot in a way father doesn't. That's... ugh, I don't know how to put it. Father's a genius, and he understands us so well, but he's never been a robot master. Rock has that extra insight, so he can help father in a very practical way. He's come up with ideas for upgrades and modifications that surprised even father! Plus, with the two of them working together, they can turn those ideas into new components with incredible speed. This is the ideal setup, it really is."

Charley couldn't think of anything to say. His notes and questions were under his hand, unsaid. He couldn't get that far. Roll looked at him questioningly. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked.

"N-no," Charley said, and again he shuffled and straightened his papers. A picture in one caught his eye. He looked down at it, then up at Roll. "You cut your hair?"

"Cut Man did, actually," she said. "His Rolling Cutter flew faster than I'd thought. I dodged it... mostly." She fingered her hair, which she now wore down, level with the bottom of her chin in curtains around the sides and back. "It's better this way, really. Now I can wear a helmet that isn't some jerry-rigged affair."

Charley tried to picture her in a helmet and armor. He didn't really succeed. Later, he'd be furious at his producers for not explaining what they'd gotten him into, but he wasn't in a position to think at the time. "Well... I'm glad that you'll be safe," he said.

She nodded appreciatively. "Thanks for your consideration."

Charley tried to think of another question to ask. His producers were gesturing- they were running short on time. Two minutes, so two good questions or a few bad ones. Before he was able to speak, the monitors around the studio went to static, and then came to a new picture.

"Oh, yes, fawn over your precious Mega Man," said a balding gray-haired large-nosed visage. "We'll see how much she can help you this time! That's right- I, Dr. Albert Wily, hereby declare war on the Earth! If you think you can stop me, Mega Man, you had better not try and hide..."

Roll was already on her way out of the studio. "Wait!" called Charley.

Roll looked back over her shoulder with initial annoyance. Charley remembered too late- No use of the imperative. Her disapproval melted quickly, though. "Condition three of the interview agreement," she said almost cheerfully. "If I have to go save the world, the interview is over."

Then Roll turned away, shouted, "Change, Mega Man!", and she was gone.

* * *

 _It's been said from time to time that Roll as easily could have been Mega Man as Rock. This little diversion took that proposition at face value. I touched on similar themes in my AU longfic, Abyssal, but this is... more accessible._

 _Even company-bots and Cainbots maintain the -man naming convention. The only robot masters that don't are Dr. Light's immediate family (when not on the job), Plum and Chest (whose primary role is being presented to humans and so use more human-like conventions), and Forte. That tells us something about Forte, I think._

 _Disclaimer: the characters and situations in this story are copyright Capcom. They are used without permission but not for profit._


End file.
